This photo represents my current state, where my world has grayed. And is blurry. That is, my current state is such that I am... well, besides the fact that antidepressants keep me alive. Because two years ago I buried my husband. And my world ceased to exist. At this moment I essentially have my gaze somewhere, you know, focused on blur. I look ahead, seeing nothing. Right? Somewhere I'm inside, in myself, closed off. And nothing brings me joy. I always waited for spring, for that first greenery. Since my husband's death, well it's like... well, it's not there. (...) This is precisely it... The current look at my idyllic world, meaning a world that's already, you know, black-and-white really. So blurry. It no longer brings joy."